Whether it is your business or life, don’t make it about you.  

Make it about your client.

Make it about your partner.

Make it about the other.

Make it about the cause. 

Make it about the ideas.

Make it about the change.

Don’t make it about you.

In celebrity-overrun , individualism-powered culture, we celebrate ‘making it about me’.

True flow comes from making it about the other. 

My flow stops once I make it about ‘me’.

Ego loves making it about ‘me’.

Ego hates making it about others.

But ego will always remain dissatisfied, it never has enough of ‘me’.

Making it about others is the best way to move past your ego and into your flow.

We get into flow at the Hero’s Journey Circle.

Your worth isn’t what other people think your worth is.

Your worth can’t be defined by any measures outside of you.

You define your worth. 

In any kind of relationship - with a client, a lover or a family member - you define your worth. Only you. 

And you get exactly what you ask for. The monetary expression, or the way people around you treat you, is a  direct reflection of your (self) worth.

It’s what you settle for.

And you’ll always settle for what your standard is.

And your standard is directly linked to how you define your worth.

In the Hero’s Journey Circle, we do lots of deep work around understanding your (self) worth. Check it out. 

Most people are driven by their past. Their past traumas, failures and successes shape the way they see the world, standards they hold for themselves and even their dreams. They are drawing from a pool of memories and experience in order to move ahead.

But being driven by your past means playing by old rules. And if you play by the old rules, you can’t create much change.

Reality is loose and it can be shaped as you wish - that is if you want to shape it yourself , and are willing to put in some work.

How can you do that?

By deactivating your past through understanding and healing it.

And then focusing on your future, becoming driven by your future and allowing your future vision of yourself and your life to dictate a  new set of rules.

And when you begin playing by this new set of rules that is  aligned with your future rather than your past, your current life - circumstances and situations - will respond accordingly. Inevitably. And change will ensue…

...

I like selling.

I have a couple of businesses where I have to sell. If I don’t sell, I don’t have a job, and a few people that are helping me out don’t either.

I love selling.

But I have some rules about selling.

First: I sell what I believe in.

Second: it’s not about the money.

It really isn’t.  If I make it about the money, there’s no money.

It’s a game.

It’s like playing chess. There are many strategies for winning and you have always to be aware of the partner you’re playing against.

I thrive when I sell and I revise my strategy when I don’t. Money in the bank is a score. It’s nice because it buys airline tickets and lets you fly to see friends - but that’s pretty much it.

Selling is about connection. Selling is about growth. Selling is about understanding - in conversation - whether this person needs what you are selling.

And if he doesn’t? Well, why would you push it?

For decades, the...

A good life is a fine balance between deliberate precision and organic flow.

Deliberate precision is your intention; the direction you want to go in; the focus that you think you should have.

Organic flow is your ability to stay in tune with natural laws of the universe and observe the signs. Instead of being tunnel visioned - only having an intention or direction - you are still in sync with the flow of life. Seeing where it is naturally taking you and how it is revealing itself to you is the way you stay in flow.

Often people come up with a goal - and most goals derive from ego - and get stuck on it as a needle on a record. And then they achieve it. And often they find themselves disappointed, as what they had aimed for isn’t fulfilling them. Why is that?

They simple acted with deliberate precision but forgot to stay in tune with organic flow. They ignored the signs and life’s whispers of what’s good for them and in what direction they ought to go.

Life is...

There is a small girl.

And her father.

He is trying to take away her teddy bear.

She’s crying. Screaming. She loves her teddy bear. Her teddy bear is the best.

On his other hand, behind his back, the father is holding the most beautiful, softest teddy bear ever - bigger and better than the one the girl has right now.

But the rule of the game is: he has to take away the small teddy bear in order to hand her the big one.

Even though her father is telling her: you’ll be okay, I’ve got you something nice, even better - she isn’t listening.

She’s attached to the teddy bear and the memories and what it represents.

Finally, after a long while of tossing and pulling, she concedes and hands her father her beloved toy. The father smiles and hands her the new teddy bear.

Her face lights up. She tears up - this time out of  awe and happiness. Her small teddy bear is barely a memory...

What’s your teddy bear right now in life?

What is it  that...

We expect people to treat us with kindness, love and respect. But the truth is that some simply don’t. They just don’t. There are moments in life when we are shocked to discover that our life partner, work colleague or a friend can be not only unkind to us but also mean, emotionally violent and even toxic. How about that?

What happens then to our faith in love, morality and kindness?

We feel betrayed. It’s unfair. They shouldn’t have said that. They shouldn’t have done that.

No, probably they shouldn’t have.

But the question and greatest test for you is to figure out how you respond to that. What are you like in the face of adversity, dishonesty and violence? Do you also compromise your humanity and values by responding to it aggressively - with anger, fear and the desire to harm and hurt?

No, I am not talking about the whole idea ‘turn the other cheek’ here.

I loved what Michelle Obama said in relationship to Trump’s...

I believe that life is a mythical story. It isn’t, of course, if you spend your time watching TV and eating potato chips.

But as soon as you ask yourself the question why am I here?, something changes. Your mythical journey begins. Whether you want it to or not.

Our society has many myths ready for us to subscribe to:

MYTH 1: Climb the career ladder, achieve, be respected, be powerful, pile up lots of money in your bank account and you’ll be… a success.

MYTH 2: Love, really love, hold hands, kiss in the rain, exchange rings, cradle your baby, see her grow and you’ll be… a success.

MYTH 3: Strive for flashing lights, see your face on magazine covers, be known, where is your fur or diamond ring, rise higher, almost to become a demigod, and you’ll be… a success.

MYTH 4: Combine the three  above and you’ll be… a success.

MYTH 5: .?.

There are many more narratives. What’s your myth? What story are you living out?...

Much like everybody else, I am cautiously observing the geopolitical situation in the world and cannot ignore the shadows of the 1930s. It is getting dark - you’d have to be living in a cave not to see it.

Here is the danger, however. The media won’t just allow  darkness to exist as it is,  they will push it to levels of paranoia or fear (well, both walk arm-in-arm). It is convenient because they are both paralysing.

I often feel the temptation to give in when I open the papers and hear the news. But, once you are in the darkness and fear, it is much harder to act against it - if not impossible.

So, here  I remind myself of Osho’s words that darkness is merely the absence of light.

Be the light - whatever it means to you in your environment.

Define what light means to you - it doesn’t have to be spiritual, it can be a metaphor that helps you define your actions.

For me, it means stepping up and continuing my hero’s journey to...

A lot of people blame their circumstances for the lack of inspiration to take action in life.

I hear a lot from my friends and clients: ‘Well, if I could travel as much as you do, I’d also be inspired and happy’.

But travelling isn’t the root of the problem.

First, it’s the mindset, of course - but that’d become a whole book if I were to elaborate on it.

Secondly, it’s people. The people you surround yourself with. If your circle of friends has barely changed in the past 10 years, it is no surprise that you are getting little inspiration from your environment.

I am acutely aware that I am the average of the five people I surround myself with. I truly believe this theory.

When I noticed that all of my friends in Bali have moved elsewhere and I wasn’t being challenged or inspired, I went through all of my contacts and friends of friends and set up calls with the five most inspiring people. Most of whom were way wealthier, more...